She doesn’t complain whenever he leaves the toilet seat up and accepts his college friends who never seem to really grow up. He is patient and understanding of her obsession with shoes and purses and does not feel embarrassed in front of friends when she obviously does not know anything about sports.
Why, that’s simple – true love. It’s time to propose. He does it ever so romantically and she says yes.
That’s the easy part. An engagement might as well be the only time a couple can enjoy how it feels announce to the world that they are in love and have made a commitment to be with each other. Because the step after that, the wedding, may prove to be one big challenge which tends to overwhelm the couple’s ultimate fantasy of a ‘walk down the aisle’.
If you plan to take this challenge on yourselves, here are some very helpful tips on where to begin.
Visualize your dream wedding
Most people start with setting a strict budget and that’s not the way to go because what that does is it immediately limits you and along the way makes you feel that you can’t have your dream wedding after all. Rather than starting with writing your budget down, begin with the end in mind. Fantasize and envision your wedding unfolding before your eyes, make notes of what you see and keep that as your guide.
Men in general claim that it doesn’t matter much how it turns out as long as they’re marrying the love of their life and says, ‘whatever makes her happy’. Or so they say. The truth is, men have a pretty good idea of the kind of wedding they want, what they can’t take is having to taste 6 different kinds of cake to find the perfect one or going through swatches after swatches of linen to decide which one makes the best table napkin. Get the groom involved in at the very least to describe his dream wedding. This is after all, his wedding too.
Partner with your partner
After taking notes of that fantasy wedding, put it in some order of priority. Is that towering cake more important than your guests having more than two choices for dessert? Does it have to be in the most expensive hotel ballroom in town or will a simpler, more intimate place serve the same purpose? Are you willing to spend on a coutour gown or go with something less lavish to get a better band?
Compare your lists. You may want a wedding by the beach but your better half thinks a black tie celebration is the way to go. What compromises are each of you willing to make? This is good practice for the rest of your lives.
Reality check
The next step is to take these priorities and get an estimate of how much they will cost. This will give you a rough budget from where you can set your parameters. If you can’t afford the world’s finest wines, or a famous band, asses which part of your fantasy wedding can be turned to reality. Do this by remembering what of the best weddings you’ve attended you liked most, was it the food or the band?
Organize
Approach your wedding as you would any big project. Cut them down to sizeable tasks, group the little steps together, set deadlines and plot them on a time table that will fit with everything else in your life. Collect ideas along the way but don’t just keep the ones that you like, also make take note of what you don’t want. This will make things easier to remember like telling the caterers not to serve anything with nuts or the band never to play a certain song.
Choose your team
You are probably thinking of planning your own wedding. Forget it. You will either receive unsolicited help especially from your parents or you will require it. If your parents are paying for or a portion of your wedding, they must have a say and that can be tricky as they may have their own fantasy of your wedding. This may prove to be the best time to exercise diplomacy.
Seek help from friends who have done it, ask for recommendations. Keep in mind that soliciting help will mean that you have to invite them so ask your closest friends and relatives.
Planning your own wedding need not seem like a burden preventing you from enjoying your own special day.
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